Rings For Angelo

I had a young guy, in his early twenties, working for me in Ukiah at the car dealership I ran. He was very handsome and personable, and people loved him so he sold a lot of cars. But sometimes he did really dumb things and this one pretty much beat all…well, except that one time, but that’s for another day.

Car salesmen spend a lot of time sitting, waiting, and bullshitting, and four of us were doing all three one day when Angelo started telling us about a TV program he had watched. It was probably some kind of police forensics documentary from the sound of it. He told us they had found a human torso somewhere with no arms or legs, and, I guess, no genitals because he said they had somehow determined the body was that of a woman. Angelo also said that it hadn’t been explained, at least to his satisfaction, how they determined it’s gender. He said, “I don’t know how they figured out if it was a guy or gal.” Well, we all just looked at him in wonderment.

He also said they had determined the body’s age and he said,” I have no idea how they figured out how old she was.”

And that’s where we again looked incredulously at him and the car guys’ syndrome took over and one of the guys replied, “Angelo, Jeez, they just counted the growth rings on one of her stumps.”

I could see the wheels turning in Angelo’s mind and a look of total comprehension came over his face and he said, “Oh yea, I didn’t think about that.”