This is an “In progress” page. There are more to be had, but these are the most important for now.
Car Talk Definitions
Flake- Customer with extremely bad credit, Can’t even pay attention.
Up- Potential customer-Could also be a flake. The salespeeps will be opening the car door for them as they pull in to park, preferably after the car stops
Grape- Customer who is easy, many times are flakes, that’s why they’re easy.
Criminal- Flaky flake, they steal a car on a test drive, wheel it around for a few days, and leave it on a country road in the next county with dents all over it and a load of McDonald’s wrappers in it. They poke salespeeps with sharp knives and drive off.
Diamond- Super nice used car, one a flake cannot buy.
Mooch- They want a donut to go with their ten thousand dollar discount, rarely flakes. They can actually buy a car, except they’re mooches
Mattress- These are what “lay-down” customers have. They go where you point them and agree with everything you say to them. Not Flakes, Grapes. They lay right down.
Shotgun- What the F&I guy does with the flakes’ deals. Sends it to every lender, hoping one of them is drunk and says yes.
Roll it!-What the sales manager says when he wants to sell the flake a car against the F&I guy’s better judgment.
Roll Back- What happens the next day when the F&I Guys’ assessment is correct and the sales manager has to call the customer to bring the car back because they couldn’t get financed.
Criminal (2)- A car guy who lies about everything. He’s the guy that tells the customer that the dealer will gladly change it to an automatic transmission if they don’t like having to shift after a few days, “Just drive it for a bit.” Usually flakes too.
Buyers are Liars- Not flakes necessarily. They tell you they are under no circumstance buying a car today and you call them back the next day and they bought a car from Jerry down the street. “He was an asshole, but you were so nice.”
Desk- The boss, the one behind that door. He has colored pens to write on your write up sheet. He thinks everyone is a flake.
F&I- The finance manager. He gets your deal bought at a bank so you can get a commission voucher. And when he sold a big warranty he gets that deal bought…even for flakes.
Burnin’ Gas- That’s a sold and delivered car. Sometimes they burn more gas bringing it back to the dealership because the F&I guy didn’t get the flake bought. Sometimes they come back burning gas in a tow truck.
T.O.- Means the salesperson can’t sell the car to his customer so he “turns” them to another salesman. Then the two salespeeps are “married.” You can stay married all day sometimes and sometimes you split five deals or five write-ups to flakes.
Closer- The guy who comes in to work the deal after the customer commits to buy the car. He can smell a flake from a mile away, and usually boots your deal of the day out the door.
Cherry- A “diamond” with a bullet. Low miles, out-of-the-box-brand-new. Chuck trades it in. He’s a general contractor who has forty huge projects going and lives in a four million dollar house on fifty acres. He only drives his car to Monterrey on the weekends to stay at a bed and breakfast on the beach. He has employees wash and wax his car every day and then trades it in on the new one. He’s no flake, he knows it and he lets you make just a little bit.
Third Baseman- The good aunt who comes with the customer to help assist with the purchase because she read Cartoons and knows all about the car bizz. The salespeep has to deal with someone who just wants to say yes, sign up, and drive home in their new car, and the aunt, who most probably is a flake, is showing how to not buy a car and waste a whole day dickin’ around at a car dealership.
Cut it- This is what happens to a wholesaler at the auction when he sneezes and now he owns a green Pontiac Aztec and it’s no diamond.
Gold Balls-A person with exceptionally good credit. Definitely not a flake.
Booth- Where you take the flakes to fill out a credit app and keep out of the rain. Sometimes they call it an office
Chute- Another name for booth, where the flakes are revealed.